i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
