I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
