we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
