I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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