Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
