There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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