i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We left the knife in your bed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
