you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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