And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
