I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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