too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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