Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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