I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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