Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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