If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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