it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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