I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
