If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I've blown a few things in my day
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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