i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
