i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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