You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
