I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
