Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
