I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
