Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
