Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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