what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
