He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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