Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
