whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I didn't notice because vodka
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
