Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
