roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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