i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
