yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
