Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
