where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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