dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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