i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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