Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
