So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
