You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
