Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
