He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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