Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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