haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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