he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
