I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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