it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
