Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's official drugs can't kill me
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
