How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
